I like this video. Each individual's response is representative of how in depth this thought process can go.
I listened and marveled at how much time is devoted to figuring out this integral part of ourselves. To figuring ourselves out in general.
Who are you? What do you identify as?





--

I didn't call that woman back from NBC. I chickened out. I'll call tomorrow and fess up. Maybe I can give her the name of someone else who can help her out.
Some things are so personal.. how you feel about your body, how you feel about your gender/sexuality. So people make up phrases and new names for these things - all creating their own niche.
Some say people with eating disorders are just really self-involved. No, they're lost. If they had their "self" they probably wouldn't be experiencing such disassociation and anguish. And the people on that video, I guess you could say the same thing .. that they sure do spend a lot of time thinking about themselves. But for me, it's like knowing whether or not you're right handed or left... and they're just taking the time to find out.
For every person there is a different identity.. a different definition.

My neck definitely hurts and my body feels out of sorts, but thanks to my impromptu hospital visit Monday (can we say Universal Health Insurance?!?.. yea, needs to happen) , I know all of my vitals are perfect.
that's no way to end an entry, but it's theraflu time. Nothing like being under the weather to justify shameless self-medication.

Fucking pros and cons, right? No matter how many pros you add up in the little column to the right and no matter how much common sense it makes to follow through with the pros, there are always cons. Only if there are none is it a win win situation.
A lot of decisions I've made lately have had to do with the Pros. Common sense has been outweighing everything else. Still it's hard because, hey, as my Dad said "That's life. It's tough."
The man belongs on the top of a mountain in China for chrissakes. That's a lot of wisdom.
..

Easter was Easter. Went to church. Stood, knelt, spoke when taught to. It all came back to me like I knew it would... I fell into the rhythm like a diver just falls into deep blue waters. I let the smells and hymns envelope me and took comfort in the smiles my mother wore on her face every time I looked her way.
At Aunt Marianne's the boys were in full swing. I chased Jack around and we played basketball. He's small enough that I can balance him on my shoulders and swing him around by his feet. I changed two diapers and read 1 1/2 books out loud today.
Gramma made us some vegetarian chili, but left it at her house. So I had salmon. Steve teased me about being vegetarian and Aunt Marianne tried to get me to take some ham back to school. Dana showed up and I had nothing to say to her. Mom cried when I left because she misses me and she experiences Empty Nest Syndrome in waves (today was a Flow day, not an Ebb).
Gramma and Paul argued the way old people who are married do .. and I fumbled for answers to their questions about what I'm going "to do with my life".
And now I'm back. And it's after 12 a.m. .. no more Easter.

Hi Kate,

We have not met. I got your name through Amanda here at ANAD. Amanda works with ANAD support group leaders.

Anyway, I currently have a query from Hana Karar of NBC NY. She is looking for someone to interview for a news piece they are putting together about Anorexia/spring break/pro ana websites and co-eds.

Please let me know if you want to be considered as a possible person to be interviewed for this. I can pass your contact information on to Hana. If you like you can also provide me your telephone number. Please call me if you have any questions.

Keith _____ at ANAD




Just got that email. Wow. Pretty cool, maybe I'll end up on the news.


I am happy these days.