In Secaucus we were talking about how kids get pushed into college right after highschool, how there's pressure to go to grad school right after college. How there's no time to rest, understand, process, decide...
We had to get on the train to Penn Station and then on a subway to 96th Street. As we were speeding along, as I was swaying with the car, and he was holding onto the strap - towering over me- he picked up the conversation.
"So you want to know what I did after I graduated highschool?" He didn't wait for me to ask. I only had time to raise my eyebrows.
"I joined the military."
"What, um, branch?" I ask. I almost said "department". Sometimes I don't know what to say when I feel people are on the verge of telling me something big.
"The Air Force. I served in the Gulf War. The first one, the one you don't hear about anymore, the one that was too short to be remembered."

I remember my highschool history teacher served in the army during the Gulf War and how there would be a bitterness in his voice when he spoke of it that I could not understand at 16... and definitely not even now, no matter how hard I might try.
People are coming into the car now and he and I are pushed closer together. I look at him closely and think back to when we were on the Main Bergen Co. Line just an hour ago. I think about how we were talking about how funny it is that there is such a strong sense of Regional Pride in New Jersey. We talked about films, media, the invisible boundaries between different cultures and how film is a medium that breaks those by boundaries by giving the interantional audience an idea of how Everyone Else "must be".
I think about how while we were on the train, he had this story inside of him. I don't know why I sometimes I have the idea that people who have been through remarkable experiences are Marked somehow. The fact that this is not true makes conversing such a pleasure and journey.
"I operated a plane that served as a gas station for other planes. We flew very high and when we looked down, what looked like fireflies, was actually people firing at us."

I look up at him, trying to surf the subway car as I was instructed to do, and listen - grateful to be hearing him because he didn't have to say any of this. He didn't have to start up this conversation again.

But it ended shortly after that. Subways are ideal for these types of exchanges. He said what he had to and I was there to listen until the next stop because then I became engrossed with making stories up for everyone on the subway and I think he was trying to read the newspaper of the woman sitting below him.

We didn't really talk at the party, but every now and then our eyes would meet and I'd raise up my glass of water and smile.
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This whole interaction reminded me of a Moxy Fruvous song (folk group from Canada). It was written during the Gulf War, but is so relevant today, unfortunately.

Gulf War Song
We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf
But we shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.
So we tried, and gave up, cuz there was no such song,
But the trying was very revealing:

What makes a person so poisonous righteous,
That they'd think less of anyone who just disagrees?
She's just a pacifist, he's just a patriot.
If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me?

Fighters for liberty,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.

Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me.

So we read, and we watched
All the 'specially selected news,
And we learned so much more about the good guys.

"Won't you stand by the flag?"
Was the question unasked.
"Won't you join in and fight with the allies?"

What could we say? We're only 25 years old,
With 25 sweet summers, and hot fires in the cold.
This kind of life makes that violence unthinkable.
We'd like to play hockey, have kids, and grow old.

Fighters for Texaco,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.

Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights,
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me,.
That Us would fight Them for We.

He's just a peace-nik,
And she's just a war-hawk.
That's where the beach was,
That's where the sea.

What could we say? We're only 25 years old,
And history seems to agree that I would fight You for Me,
That Us would fight Them for We.
Is that how it always will be?



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