Well, the phone's not ringing. I don't remember the last five minutes. I remember the haziness, the strong push and pull on my heart, I remember the confusion.

Tonight might be one of those nights. And tomorrow might be one of those days.

Go out and put on a smile and hope that this is one of the 7 out of ten times that it works and I actually feel good.
Wake up and work 12 hours. Eat my pre-packaged meals and say my pre-packaged conversation starters. The bike ride being my only time alone. I am grateful for the concentration and hard work that goes hand in hand with that. The muscles flexing, my forearms tightening, feeling teeth go into my bottom lip as I go up hill. The inner dialogue while I'm doing it.I can't wait, actually.

Nothing I will put here is going to be Right. Fucking words on a god damned screen.