Well, it's now 10 x's harder to date Kate Brown. Blame NOMAS for raising my bar.


This weekend has been the most helpful/affirming/hopeful couple of days I have experienced in...months? Years? This kind of excitement deserves its own category. So, I will say that I have felt like this before, but only rarely and those moments were fleeting and not lumped into hours which, thankfully, translated into days.

The NOMAS conference took place here at Ramapo and from Friday - Sunday I was surrounded by the most pro-feminist, equality/passion driven, attentive, sensitive, listening men I have met in quite some time.
The workshops were good, but I usually benefit most from one on one/group conversations/discussions. I was fortunate to have a good many of those with both men older than me and people of both/any gender/sex whatever my age. The people who spoke on the youth panel were so inspiring and I noticed a lot of women tearing up because hearing them speak about the steps they are taking to reach out to men in all communities, how the approach their relationships with other men and women, how they got into the men's movement .... it was refreshing. It was new. I was sitting in front and proudly looking upon Phil and the new friends I have made.

Michael Kimmel spoke and I went to a workshop headed by Chip James. I have read writings by both of them. It was Kimmel's words that made me cry over coffee last Fall ... and I remember I biked over to Ramsey .. feeling the strain in my muscles and thinking that if I got physically stronger, maybe I'd be able to get through those readings ... feel safer about walking around alone, be certain that I am not as vulnerable as my size/the level of my voice.

I cried at the end. I cried three times and laughed with embarassment each time I did .. each time Mandy came up to me and held me.


Nick and I had a talk today about honesty before he left. He said that Brutal Honesty can only happen when dishonesty has preceded it. We talked about love, communication, partnerships, queerness, and I gave him taboule salad I made for the train/bus ride to D.C.
I wish he could have stayed. At a plenary, someone said that the best advice another activist ever gave him was "It's okay not to know" and that the best thing to do is to start dialogues with people who challenge you in the context of how you see the world, execute your activism, shape/clarify your views...
I met so many people who exemplify this and Nick is one of them. I feel motivated/engaged/a camaraderie with my friends, but I would not say Challenged, per se in areas concerning activism/gender/etc.
well, I did get an open invitation to Durham and a potential pen pal out of the whole thing.

I don't work for the next two days which means I have a lot of writing/reading to do. Some letters need to be sent, some processing on paper done, and I'm determined to finish at least one book this summer. I've started 4 in the past month.

I also want to examine why meeting a woman in recovery did not inspire me, but the experience negatively affected me.

Thank you, Nora for being around for my abreacting this evening. I'll be jealous of Oregon this Fall.