Katie and I went to Houlihan's today. It was surreal. It was dark. It was a little over priced. We talked about the Uncertainty that pervades this time in our lives. That hangs over us all. I've ignored it, but obviously.. I can't any longer. Uncertainty and the ideology "We'll have to see" is applicable to many facets in my life.
I am trying to keep busy today. There is too much to think/hurt/cry/wonder/worry about.

I don't know if I'll be able to pay for next semester. I might have to take a year off. Pragmatically, I know why I'm in school right now, but this campus/this area/this state is so unsatisfactory. It dawned on me today that until I leave New Jersey, I won't like where I am. I don't want to learn here anymore because it is all just in the classroom. I want to take classes in a different state/country. There isn't much here at all.
That is a horrible/sad feeling.
Yes, I'll make the best of it, but I wonder how good that will end up being anyway.