Hmm, seems I've lost my appetite. Where'd it go? Every time I burp I taste mint or spice. Or rice? That might be it.
Today is the first day of sessions. Jean Letschert (I think that's the right last name spelling) is our speaker. He has been talking to us about Hinduism, the soul, and reincarnation.
We are going to keep being reincarnated until our soul is fulfilled. But what can make my soul fulfilled? Is it something very clear? Something that I have always been looking for? What have I always been looking for anyhow? Some things pop into mind, but I highly doubt they are worthy of fulfilling a soul.
After tea he, Katy, and I were standing on the veranda of our building and I let out a big sigh, the way I often do, and he asked me why. I am still struggling with why I am here.. if I should be here.. so on and so forth. Katy said that it's comforting to be in such turmoil because doesn't that mean that change and challenge are taking place?
But what will change? Jean said to not look for specific change, but to be alert to a difference in attitude.
I know I have to let go of control.. I am so removed from home right now that I feel as if I can't manage anything over there. The truth is, one that I am aware of, is that I never had any control to begin with. It is not in my power whether or not my mother is happy... whether things will be okay. Not at all. All I can do is act from my heart and be honest in my actions ... let them portray no falsehoods.
So, that's what I am doing. I pour my heart into every email, I listen to everyone here, I try to breathe in and out steadily.
Speaking of which.. we had yoga breathing instructions this morning. The four of us in the room woke up exactly at seven thirty a.m. and rushed down... I think yoga will help me. It was relaxing to settle into my body; to feel my rib cage move in and out, my shoulder blades coming in and out, and my lungs filling up with breath.
Today is such a beautiful day. I know I have made a beautiful choice.
time for lunch which might = clif. good ol' clif
Today is the first day of sessions. Jean Letschert (I think that's the right last name spelling) is our speaker. He has been talking to us about Hinduism, the soul, and reincarnation.
We are going to keep being reincarnated until our soul is fulfilled. But what can make my soul fulfilled? Is it something very clear? Something that I have always been looking for? What have I always been looking for anyhow? Some things pop into mind, but I highly doubt they are worthy of fulfilling a soul.
After tea he, Katy, and I were standing on the veranda of our building and I let out a big sigh, the way I often do, and he asked me why. I am still struggling with why I am here.. if I should be here.. so on and so forth. Katy said that it's comforting to be in such turmoil because doesn't that mean that change and challenge are taking place?
But what will change? Jean said to not look for specific change, but to be alert to a difference in attitude.
I know I have to let go of control.. I am so removed from home right now that I feel as if I can't manage anything over there. The truth is, one that I am aware of, is that I never had any control to begin with. It is not in my power whether or not my mother is happy... whether things will be okay. Not at all. All I can do is act from my heart and be honest in my actions ... let them portray no falsehoods.
So, that's what I am doing. I pour my heart into every email, I listen to everyone here, I try to breathe in and out steadily.
Speaking of which.. we had yoga breathing instructions this morning. The four of us in the room woke up exactly at seven thirty a.m. and rushed down... I think yoga will help me. It was relaxing to settle into my body; to feel my rib cage move in and out, my shoulder blades coming in and out, and my lungs filling up with breath.
Today is such a beautiful day. I know I have made a beautiful choice.
time for lunch which might = clif. good ol' clif
posted by Kate at Sunday, January 08, 2006
3 Comments:
oh no. the food.
haha! it wasn't so terrible yesterday. i made myself eat the food yesterday because i wanted to be more social than sitting in my room with Clif. but i am getting a little tired of it. so much starch!!! i haven't gotten to the little bananas yet and for dinner i only had one chipolte and two little tin bowls filled with some stuff. who am i???
katy and i just want to drink water today though because our systems are stressed.
i am quite popular with my clif bars.
<3!
Hi Kate! I was a friend of Jean Letschert whom you mention in your blog. He passed away in 2007. He was an amazing human being and I felt very luck to have been his friend. I never saw him in India, but made a number of trips to France to hang out with him and whomever was his girl friend at the time. Like Jean, I am an artist, and my age is two years younger than his. Anyway I thought I would say hello. I am on Facebook and in one of my photo albums I have some pictures of him and examples of some of his art. Good luck to you. Jim Harter
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