I'm sitting at my desk and I think I am stuck here. Only my fingers moving to type. I can tell I don't have an expression on my face, but my stomach is in knots. Typical for a Monday morning of a Monday that includes a paper, a presentation, and an India meeting.

Why is it second nature to think that whenever he says "I hate Jersey" "I don't like concrete things" ...

That he's saying he hates me and then that we're anything but something solid.

My skin is translucent, not thick at all. And it's November 21st, 2005 .. I am 20 years old and I still haven't learned the trick of hearing what people say and not what my brain twists it in to.

But, there ... the last part. At least I'm recognizing it now.